Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
