idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
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