dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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