Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
