i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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