Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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