think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
