respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
