he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Houston, we have a blender
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
