so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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