I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
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No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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