break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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