she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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