Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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