You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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