if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
