I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
