Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
