For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You dont lie about slip and slides
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
