My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So drunk its hurt
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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