when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
