please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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