I just threw up on my dentist
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
