there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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