sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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