I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
