so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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