saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
