She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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