you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
