"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
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Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize