Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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