Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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