Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize