I need help removing her.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
