Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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