So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize