I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i've created a new STD.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
