His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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