I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize