the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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