i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
