She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
