I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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