I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
