I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My dick has a subreddit
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
