hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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