matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
