I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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