'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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