It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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