in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
