how do flat chested girls get laid?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
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Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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