i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's like iHOP with fire
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
