Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
