Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
