the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize