His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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