Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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